Of all the issues up for debate in West Africa, perhaps the most hotly contested is determining who has the best Jollof rice (*ahem* Liberians). While the debate is the loudest between Nigerians and Ghanaians, it seems that some people are still unfamiliar with the dish that combines, rice, tomato sauce, Maggi, and varying ingredients of love into a dish that is simply magical.
One of our favorite young satirist from Botswana took to social media on Tuesday and had the revelation of her life. Siyanda-Panda always thought jollof was code word for something else, given the fervor with which people discussed attaining and eating it, but when someone separated the two thoughts in a tweet she was left perplexed.
It’s not even bout jollof rice anymore , now it’s bout pussy . Nigerian vs Ghanian 😂😂😂
— David sneh (@pappillo22) March 1, 2016
Isn’t that what you guys have been debating all along? I thought “jollof rice” was the code-word. (._.”) https://t.co/O54kko0AVi
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Wetin is this?
This whole time I seriously thought “jollof rice” was code for pussy.
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
So when West Africans debated about whose “jollof rice” is more delicious I just watched from the sidelines like (._.”)
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Then she had to think of all the times she used “jollof” wrong in a sentence.
I even told my friend to text her Nigerian crush: “Let me put this jollof on your side-burns…” (._.”)
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
And all the times she heard wrong
When Nigerians were tweeting how their “jollof rice” was juicier than Ghanian’s I just watched like pic.twitter.com/huBJyOQ8sj
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
And the judgment she passed
One day I almost fainted when I saw a guy tell his friend his wife serves the best jollof rice.
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
The kind of disgrace this would bring to her family if this were true.
So when ladies tweeted they were gonna serve “jollof rice” on a first date, I was like wow! West Africans are really free!
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Other Africans came to rescue her from her word wahala.
😂😂😂 yes, food. As in put in pot and place on fire food. https://t.co/aNGM1i8MWL
— Adebukola Mi (@la_goddessian) March 1, 2016
Jollof rice = pussy cat? You see your life? 😄 “@SiyandaWrites: This whole time I seriously thought “jollof rice” was code for pussy.”
— Tochukwu (@Tokwonna) March 1, 2016
What? You seriously thought all these joll of rice stories were, uhm, chronicles of punania? https://t.co/N9rC56UQjN
— Joe Black (@joeblackzw) March 1, 2016
Here comes #TeamNaija…
Jollof rice is not just food it is a spiritual experience. Once you eat well-cooked Nigerian jollof you r born-again https://t.co/rC5l30dDWt
— Imoh Umoren (@ImohUmoren) March 1, 2016
And #TeamGhana…
It’s Ghanaians please, tnk u. Lol…albeit our jollof rice is the best ever. Dat was what I had for lunch today @SiyandaWrites
— Simon Delali Nordjo (@nosidel2kl) March 1, 2016
Which drove Siyanda into deeper uncertainty.
Are you talking about food? I’m so confused! :’D https://t.co/MqZTNmPHqX
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Seems she’s not the only one either
You mean it isn’t !? Bophelo ke eng mara eh ? RT @SiyandaWrites
This whole time I seriously thought “jollof rice” was code for pussy.— Baby Lungz (@unofficial_mozi) March 1, 2016
But the truth of the matter…
Sometimes the reaction to good food is similar to sex https://t.co/VkLA76Tymf
— Imoh Umoren (@ImohUmoren) March 1, 2016
Jollof Rice is Holy Ghost in a plate, the Harbinger of happiness. The Food of Ages. The Jollof that is Jollof. https://t.co/wieYmzetUt
— Party Jollof (@PartyJollof) March 1, 2016
It’s that good. https://t.co/XcEGG0svIz
— Idealist. (@nosy_diva) March 1, 2016
That wedding jollof is the best, though.
Like when people were talking about two brothers sharing a plate of jollof rice at a wedding, I was just like wow. pic.twitter.com/3ZG77PtMfp
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Siyanda wanted us to back her up, because the way we discuss jollof is kind of confusing, right?
Do you guys see how I made this mistake?? https://t.co/YuKTsZ1tau
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
No.
Nah nah babes https://t.co/6xyOkmbN0E
— Binwe Adebaeyo (@BinweA) March 1, 2016
Just to think… she may have ruined some romantic pursuits.
I once told a Naija guy I won’t serve jollof rice before marriage and he looked at me like I was insane. OMG guys
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
Depending on who he is…
So…me sliding into a Ghanaian guy’s DMs like “you gon’ catch this jollof?” doesn’t make sense, does it…
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
She still needs someone to hear her out though…
But you guys have to admit: the way West Africans talk about jollof rice, though. I mean are y’all really catching fists for RICE?
— Siyanda-Panda (@SiyandaWrites) March 1, 2016
To which, she received this confirmation.
Yup and bodies too. https://t.co/cvEW8oqrGW
— Grandma’s Mango Tree (@x_MoAdio_x) March 1, 2016
But you never know, this new euphemism just might catch on.
The new meaning of jollof rice is the best meaning ever. It should be adopted on a larger scale.
— Perkins Onome! (@POAbaje) March 1, 2016
I have never laughed so hard! What do you think? Could “jollof” become the new euphemism for a lady’s love pocket?
