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Before you begin The Scandal Watch, it’s important to have the right atmosphere. One can’t simply be a Gladiator. The stage has to be set.

Wine

Only one thing really matters. What’s that wine looking like!?

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(We hear the red is a great look, but you can’t go wrong with Moscato as well). For some, pre-gaming Scandal is a viable option; to deter the stress that will naturally come along with it. Costco runs are mandatory if entertaining a party larger than 8, and make sure you schedule takeout 45 minutes ahead of time, for the stragglers.

Friends

Pick these carefully, as once the show starts, you can’t get rid of them. You know your friends, so make sure you have them aligned correctly. Here are a few to avoid, or give the “wrong directions” to:

The Talker

This is the person you know that once they open their mouth, it will refuse to shut. They are the ones who asked why Frodo’s feet were so hairy during Lord of the Rings. They ask if we really have to sing more than one verse of Lift Every Voice and Sing. They are that person. Kindly position them as far stage left as possible. To check distance, if you can reach out your hand and still feel their breath, it’s not far enough.

The Weeper

It happens. Olivia goes through some things (generally with Fitz), and the tears start flowing. Criers start slowly, like that old Civic that got passed down to you right after you got your license. You hear the slight sniffle, and then it stops. It is quickly followed by two or three quick gasps for air. Silence. Then, the tears ducts open, and their makeup was never the same.

Although we are Gladiators, try to show empathy to the criers because who else wouldn’t feel their heart skip a beat at some scenes- like when we first found out about Huck’s family and Mellie’s past….but still tell them to hold it together until the  commercial break.

The Tweeter (for those in not in EST time zone)

You waited all week for this. You stayed off Facebook, ignored the Groupme, and even refused to read reviews. Man, you even curved your best friend when they wanted to recap. You’re ready. The last thing you need is someone scrolling through the #tweets, and giving you a play by play about what happens at 8 minutes and 13 seconds into the first episode.

“Oh-my-gaaaaaawd. You WON’T believe what Fitz said…my TL is on fire!!?!”

…if they aren’t quiet, they won’t be the only thing that gets lit tonight. Banish them, and continue to enjoy your eve with Shonda.

The Complaining Blipster

“Why are you even watching this show? It’s just so trendy, it’s not even that good. What else is on?”  “Do you think Fitz would even like Olivia if her hair was natural?”

The person you just want to strangle with the silk napkins you bought just for this episode. Similar to the talker, only they are “too cool” to watch Scandal and must remind you why EVERY chance they get. They only show up because there’s alcohol and a snack or two, so if you can put them in a corner with a couple glasses of wine and let them listen to some Raheem Devaughn in the next room and pray for their silence.

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Groupme

Okay, so we have all discovered through trial and error that you can’t actually handle being physically located in the same place as other humans while Scandal is on (unless they breathe silently to themselves in a corner so you’re not disturbed). Therefore, every Thursday night is a party of one. A solid compromise has been made to interact with a group of friends via Groupme, where you can successfully express your frustration/delight/awe/confusion/ and anger with the appropriate emoji or gif.

Live Tweeting

It’s only right to tweet watch Scandal- or you’re doing it wrong. If you do not have cable access and are unable to stream it online, can always count on live-tweeting because you just cannot wait to see it yourself. It happens to the best of us.

Feelings

Romance

Each episode of Scandal has a way of getting us in our feelings. And the glass of wine we’re having, does not help. Now you’re wondering why bae doesn’t express their feelings in words like Fitz.

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And you’re side eyeing your significant other for not saying things Jake says to Olivia like “Take me with you. Run away with me. Save me”.

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And you’re side eyeing them AGAIN for not buying you a house in Vermont! You don’t really want to live in Vermont, but that’s not the point. Its the principle. You’ve never even been to Vermont. But it sounds nice.

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And you wonder why you don’t have moments like Olivia and Fitz, using each other to get away from reality in silence. You don’t have those “stand here with me for one minute” moments.

Questioning Your Values

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Huck does the absolute most. There is no way you have not seen anything wrong with what Huck does or says. You get goose bumps when you’re listening to him say things like “It’s horrible and it’s sickening and just when you think you can’t take anymore it gets fun” (in regards to torturing).

Passion

You never knew you wanted a love/ hate relationship full of passion until you heard James say:

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And when she said this to Edison had us like 0_0 ….

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Recollect yourself

Now it’s time to get your life, because Shonda just served it to you. After each episode, you have to just sit and absorb everything that just happened. When I say sit and absorb I mean:

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Because Shonda gives you a new meaning to life every week. We get so emotionally invested in each episode. Every Olivia and Fitz breakup is a heartache. Every last five minutes in each episode induces panic. We get our lives from epic monologues from Cyrus, Huck, Papa Pope, and drunk Mellie. After ten minutes of ‘sitting’, all lines of communication can officially be reopened. Turn on your 4g boo, the #tweets await you.

Lessons Learned

At the end of each episode, after we read the Scandal tweets, we realize that Shonda taught us some valuable life and love lessons and the characters give us great advice. Like when Mellie dropped some gem in regards to your partner cheating on you, “It hurts until it doesn’t. You think it’s going to break you, but it won’t. You may not sleep as well at night, but you will be fine. Numb, but numb and fine are the same.”

Or when Cyrus said “life is not a romance novel”. 

It can get pretty real from time to time.

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Memes

Twitter exhibits no chill post-Scandal. The memes are at You really thought we weren’t going to do this!?

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And then when the season ends:

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But we don’t have to worry about that anytime soon.


 

Now who’s ready for the Scandal turn up?! Click here to follow @Blavity on Twitter to join our discussion during the season premiere.  We’ll bring the popcorn 🙂

*Sips Wine*

See you Thursday,

Team Blavity