Is this life? Because it’s not at all what you had in mind. Which is confusing because in a lot of ways, it’s exactly what you aimed for. I mean, you’re doing pretty well, you have a good job, reliable income, benefits, a decent spot. So, what’s the problem? Why do you feel so stifled?

At one time are another, we’ve all felt stuck between where we are and where we really want to be. Life is full of in-between stages. And in those pivotal moments, decisions are critical. The choices you make can impact your entire life. It’s at these times that you have to ask yourself some crucial questions, and that internal conflict can get real. Sometimes the voices in your own head aren’t even loyal!

chris brown best friend bestie loyal these hoes aint loyal — Photo: theunilife.tumblr.com

If you have ever in your life felt stuck, here are six arguments you’ve probably had with yourself:

1. How did I get here?

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What type of millennial nonsensical malarkey is this? It’s called being a grown-up. Welcome to adulthood where maturity replaces fantasy and responsibility overrides impulse.

2. I hate my job.

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It’s a job! What you need to do is consult this template, check these boxes and climb this corporate ladder. That misery you feel? You feed it with stuff. Bigger house, better car, upgrade, more stuff.

3. Really? That’s your fix?

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Listen. Clearly you’ve missed the memo. This is what people do. Besides, how will you know who you are if there is no title on your business card to remind you? And, who’s going to know your worth if it’s not spelled out on your bag, or your shoes, or your car? You get the point. I mean really…What exactly do you plan to do? Major in being you? How much does that pay? And, how exactly does that description look on a resume? And, tell me, who’s going to match this magical 401K savings plan?

4. What about faith? What about everything we’ve been taught to believe?

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Oh, that faith stuff…that’s just something we say. In reality, that kind of thinking just gets in the way, so stop thinking! And when you do have a thought that ventures outside the lines, you must first pour it through the filter of what your friends might think, then measure it against what your family will say, weigh it on the scale of public opinion, hold it against the backdrop of “normal,” and once you’ve done all that — trust me, there won’t be a morsel of a fragment of the instinctive urge, gift or calling that brought you to question to begin with.

5. Wait…What?

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Don’t worry, because on those sleepless nights when your goals and dreams slip past the filter into your subconscious mind, I’ll be here to mute them and I’ll remind you that you are sleeping on a California King Bed with one thousand thread count Egyptian linens, in your dream home with your partner and 2.5 kids. You will have made it! And, what more could you possibly want than that?

6. Bruh?

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How about purpose? How about life? How about performing the assignment on earth that’s uniquely mine and exposing this light that’s been begging to shine, or trusting the word that you merely recite, or allowing my passion to keep me up at night?

How about making my own template to design my own existence? Is that so radical? Because I simply can’t believe that the source who created my mind, my cells, my mouth, these words, this unique set of fingerprints unlike any other, did so just to fit me into a cookie cutter standard paper doll existence. To please whom? Them? Who the heck is this mysterious “they?” and why should I care so much what they have to say?

At the end of the day, what good does it do to check all the boxes at the expense of being you?

relief thank god sweet relief crying pregnant — Photo: theunilife.tumblr.com

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The transition into adulthood isn’t an easy one. Navigating relationships, managing workplace politics, hitting those milestones on schedule— don’t be fooled, no one knows what they’re doing. There will be all kinds of fumbles, blunders and awkward missteps along the way. If you’re constantly wondering to yourself, “Am I doing this right?” Welcome. This is just the place for you.

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