There’s a knock on my door at 8:30 a.m. on a Wednesday. I’ve been awake staring at the ceiling because I can’t shake my usual work hours, even with the time difference. It’s my mother asking me if I am going to the restaurant with them, even when the answer has always been the same every time I’m home for vacation.

My parents have owned a soul food restaurant in a small town in Arizona for over a year now. I remember the call I received four years ago from my parents telling me that they were moving to the west coast. I was a junior in college at the time and so focused on my own future that my reaction to their announcement was indifferent. The conversation left me to tell my parents that I would see them on Thanksgiving, in a completely different state and home.

*photos in this piece done by my sister *[*Davia Janay*](https://www.instagram.com/daviajanay/) — Photos in this piece were taken by my sister, Photographer Davia Janay.

It took me a while to get comfortable with associating “going home” to “going to Arizona.” I did some self-evaluating and decided that home would be wherever my parents and two siblings are. Every winter holiday that I had, I would be flying out to see my family. Before they opened up the restaurant, I saw first-hand how the process of opening it up was both mentally and physically taxing on them. After a lot of money, blood, sweat and tears, they opened in October 2014.

This is the second holiday vacation where I have spent most of my time working in the restaurant. I tell coworkers what my plans are, and I usually encounter a funny look as a response. I can understand to a certain extent: I’m an analyst working in Corporate America. What am I doing “slumming it” in a restaurant, cleaning tables and taking orders? My experiences have been quite the opposite of what some might expect, and I have really acquired some lessons that I use in my actual 9–5 job.

Search deep inside to find your voice

When I work at the restaurant, I’m the cashier. Being the cashier is a daunting task, primarily because you have to be vocal the entire day. How you express yourself can dictate whether or not you get tips even before they receive the meal. I’m a bit more withdrawn by nature, so this was a huge hurdle to get over. Despite this, I was able to be more engaging and open to the customers. I’ve taken this skill to my workplace, developing relationships and building trust amongst my coworkers. Doing so helps people vouch for you as your career furthers along.

Pulled Pork, Mac and Cheese, Collard Greens. Yum. — Pulled Pork, Mac and Cheese, Collard Greens.

There isn’t such thing as “not having anything to do”

Just like any restaurant, we have some slow days. Maybe there’s a lag between crops of customers coming in. The first time we didn’t have any customers in the front, I immediately grabbed my phone. My father tapped me on the shoulder with a look and said, “Hello, you can sweep or wipe the tables until customers come in.” Eventually, I got the message and it became second nature to do — even if we were empty. I would even ask my parents if they needed some help in the back with mixing or checking food in the oven.

With a restaurant, there’s always something to do. You’re in a constant state of movement for many hours and you gain the skill of switching focus to another task. This is no different from an office where you might have a lag in projects. When you think your workload is light, you can re-direct your focus to getting more projects from your managers. With a varied project-load, you develop many different types of skills in a shorter timeframe. In my new position, I have utilized this and have gotten exposure to different facets of my field.

"Broritto" and Fries — “Broritto” and Parmesan & Parsley Fries

Working through micro- (and macro-) aggressions

There was an instance in the restaurant where I encountered a customer who was wearing a Confederate flag accessory. I gave this customer a second glance to ensure I wasn’t imagining things. Lo and behold, this accessory was there in all its racist glory. Now I was faced with an impossible task of being a friendly and conversational cashier while a symbol that threatens my blackness is in front of me. I decided that I needed a self-care moment and stepped in the back and had someone else take care of it.

I learned from that encounter that sometimes the best reaction to micro- or macro-aggressions is to walk away. Not everyone is in a teachable place and some people are comfortable in their ignorance. This ignorance should not stop me from being magical in the workplace, but it’s also not a requirement for me to perform all the time in the midst of this ignorance. Sometimes the best way to practice self-care in your workplace is to step away from the aggression. Because of this incident, I was able to sense when it was time for me to leave when I’m in the office. That understanding of my limits has helped me be more centered.

The greatest joy I’ve been given from working with my parents has been seeing them finally chase their dreams. My parents had me when they were both young, and two additional kids later, dreams had to be sacrificed for the well-being of their children. And although I have gained some life-hacks to use in the corporate world, I work during my winter vacation because I simply love them.

They’re the only reason why I would ever wake up at 8:30 in the damn morning on my day off.

My lovely parents! — My lovely parents and I!

If you are in the Queen Creek Area (or willing to travel however long within the state of Arizona), check out Rhema Soul Cuisine!

Rhema Soul Cuisine

Get relevant content delivered to you once a week